Linus Got It Right!

It's crunch time.  Christmas is less than a week away and for some people the thought of that evokes a battery of emotions, not all of them Jolly. Let's face it, the holidays can create a lot of stress and anxiety. There is a lot to get done. Decorating, shopping, wrapping, baking, Christmas cards, mailing packages, parties and so on. Our lists can rival those of Santa himself.

This Christmas my list was no different than most, it was long and time consuming, not to mention expensive. When I started thinking about completing all the tasks listed there, I'll be honest, I felt more like the Grinch than Cindy Lou Who.  I did not like feeling that way, something had to change. My priorities, my perspective, my expectations, my attitude or maybe a little bit of all of those things.

I decided to evaluate all of the things that threatened to interfere with how I wanted to celebrate Christmas this year. For each entry on my list I asked myself the same questions:

Why am I doing this? Is it maintaining a tradition or keeping an obligation. Doing the same something just because you always have, isn't enough. Is it meaningful and intentional or are you just going through the motions?

Who am I doing it for?  Is it just for me? Am I forcing others to conform to meet my expectations? Is it something they enjoy and would they do it on their own?

Is it necessary? Would it be missed if I scratched it off the list? Would it diminish the holiday experience for anyone?

Does it add stress or bring joy? If the answer is add stress it has got to go. Bring on the Joy!

The conclusion was this, the items that stayed on my list are the traditions worth continuing that mean as much to others as they do to me. The necessities (boys have got to eat!) and things that add joy to our celebration.  Everything else was taken off completely or scaled back to some degree. The new list is more manageable. It has lessened my stress and allowed me to enjoy the duties I still have to get done. More importantly, it has given me the time to focus on what Christmas is really about.

I hope that you too can delete a few things off your list, eliminate stress, seek more joy and have a very Merry Christmas.

I love the speech Linus gives in A Charlie Brown Christmas. I think it is a perfect illustration for what I have written about here. Linus got it right! Watch his speech below.

Linus' speech

Traditions

Photo by Owen Richards

Holidays are usually full of traditions. Growing up, Christmas was especially this way for my family.

Decorating the tree was an event. We all helped. We had a live tree and most years we went out to a tree farm, picked out the one we wanted, cut it down and brought it home. We decorated it with the same ornaments from year to year. We covered it in multi-colored blinking lights, garland and silver icicles. The lights stayed off until the decorating was completely done. Then we shut off all the lights in the room and plugged the tree in. It made it seem very magical as a young girl. We usually took a trip to The Country Club Plaza and drove down Falmouth Street took look at lights. On Christmas Eve we each opened one gift. It was always the same thing, new pajamas. We didn't care that is was the same thing, we were still excited to get them.

Christmas morning everyone had to be awake and come into the living room at the same time. Santa never wrapped anything at our house so you could instantly see what he had left. Other gifts were opened one at a time starting with the youngest person to the oldest.

Oh Christmas Tree...

Many of the traditions that were started when my sisters and I were young we have continued in our family. However, as a mother of boys, I have had to make adjustments to some. We decorate our tree as a family with the same ornaments, angel and tree skirt every year. The boys help with a few ornaments each and I finish up. No drum roll, or big reveal, and that's OK. Their Christmas Eve pajamas most years are a fun pair of boxers since that is what they sleep in.

Christmas morning looks basically the same except our boys take turns opening gifts instead of going youngest to oldest. We also try to make time to visit the Plaza. Our trip usually also includes Crown Center and some sort of food along the way. We have added some traditions of our own. Our boys get a new ornament to commemorate the past year.  Owen adds a new Nutcracker to his collection. We attend church together on Christmas Eve and I make ice cream cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. (recipe below)

Individually these things are just acts, duties, habits and customs.  But when they are put together with a purpose and consistency they become much more. They are memories that become a part of your family's identity, your history and your future.

Owen's Nutcrackers

So, if you have family traditions I encourage you to continue them, even if your kids grumble, they will thank you for it later. Make it fun, change things up a bit, add something new to an old idea. And if you don't have any traditions at all, then maybe this is the year to start some. Most of all enjoy whatever you do as a family this Christmas!

"It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help to keep a family together over the long haul."

 - Caroline Kennedy

ICE CREAM CINNAMON ROLLS

Ingredients

·         12 Rhodes™ Cinnamon Rolls or 12 Anytime!™ Cinnamon Rolls

·         1/2 cup sugar

·         1/2 cup brown sugar

·         1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

·         5 tablespoons butter or margarine

Instructions

Place frozen cinnamon rolls in a sprayed 9x13 in pan.

In a small saucepan, combine sugars, ice cream and butter. Cook over medium heat until sugars are dissolved. Pour mixture evenly over frozen cinnamon rolls. Leave in oven over night.
In the morning bake at 350°F 25-30 minutes and frost. Enjoy!

The Secret to Having It All...

I passed this sign in early August at a small church in Bonner Springs, Kansas. We were on our way to pick up my son's car from our mechanic after a pre-college tune up. On the way back I stopped to take this picture. I had forgotten about it until I was scrolling through my gallery and came across it. With tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought the timing was perfect.

In a culture that thrives on upgrades, trade-ins, promotions and excess, it can sometimes be easy to to lose sight of what matters most and how great our lives truly are. I love these words and I wonder if we were to stop and think about them, would we realize that for the large majority of us they're true.

I did just that, and this is what I found...

I live in a great country, not perfect, but great none the less. I am thankful to live here. I am also extremely grateful for the men and women who have and continue to defend and serve "The Land of the Free and The Home of the Brave".

I also live in an awesome City, in a great County with high quality schools and public servants. I appreciate the hard work our teachers and administrators do each and every day to provide our kids with one of the best public educations in the country. I am grateful to our public servants, our police and fire departments. They work tirelessly to keep people and property safe. Many of whom will be spending Thanksgiving away from their families. Their families have my appreciation as well.

I have a job that provides me small opportunities to impact the lives of students, parents, visitors and staff every day. I am grateful for each relationship I have built there and to be a part of it all.

My extended family is loving and supportive and I have a wonderful circle of friends.

I have a warm house to live in, food to eat, a car to get me where I need to go and my health, despite my love of ice cream.

I have two sons that are some of the best men I know and a husband that has lead by example to help make them that way.

And, I have the grace and forgiveness of a Heavenly Father that loves me more than I can imagine.

So for me when I read the words on that sign again, after the list I just wrote, it's hard not to believe them.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. I think I have more than enough...I have it ALL!

 Happy Thanksgiving!

A Good Education Is About More Than Academics

A week or so ago I read an article on line and later found it in video form. It was titled " What Students Really Need to Hear". The article was written more like a letter from a teacher to their students and focuses on the need to teach our children lessons not written in text books. Things like resilience, problem solving, hard work, persistence, how to except challenges and manage fear. The author C. Mielke writes; "You see the main event of school is not academic learning. It never has been.  Yes, algebra, essay writing, Spanish, the judicial process-all are important and worth knowing, but not the main event.  The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult."

I am not an educator, but I see the need for these skills everyday working as an elementary school secretary and a mother of two boys. A forgotten lunch for example can be enough to bring some children to tears, while others deal with it in stride. A not so favorable test score can either be seen as a chance for improvement or a reason to stop trying all together. What makes the difference?

I believe the difference lies in how we look at our children's education and what is the ultimate goal for them. So much emphasis is put on GPA's, ACT scores and other academically measured abilities, that I think we can overlook the things that aren't graded or scored, but that are equally important. Our children also need to learn how to relate well to people, have productive conversations, take initiative, overcome adversity, be creative, and a have a little fun along the way. If our goal is to build productive, successful, happy adults, all these principals need to be included in lesson plans along side more traditional subjects.

Our boys have been fortunate to have many teachers who understand the concepts expressed by the writer of this article. And while we are very grateful and appreciative for their influence and impact on our sons, we also realize that it is not completely up to them. We as parents have a responsibility to show diligence in these areas as well. We have learned that it is ok for them to be uncomfortable or unhappy for the short term, in order to gain the long term skills such as self reliance and resourcefulness. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary. Just as necessary as making them do their homework.

Below is the link to the article, it is worth reading.

What Students Really Need to Hear

What a difference a year makes

A year a go at this time our oldest son, Kellan had just decided where he would attend college. The process was both exciting and stressful. My husband and I did not attend college the traditional way, so this was all new to us. His decision was made somewhat more difficult because he wanted to play baseball at the college level. So finding a school that would be a fit both in academics and baseball proved to be a little more challenging. We completed all the steps and collected all of the requirements.  ACT, GPA, NCAA eligibility, applications, unofficial visits, official visits, and scholarships. We knew God had already figured it out, we just needed to relax and get out of the way. We were relieved once the decision had been made, but it also made what was once a distant day in time closer to a reality.

Getting settled.

 So, here we are one year later. We have navigated through a lot of uncharted territory. There were things I expected but just as many that I didn't see coming. I expected it to be hard to drive away and leave our son in a place where he knew no one but the three people he had just met. I did not expect it to be hard every time we visit or he comes home. I expected to be sad, and shed tears. I did not expect the sadness to hit me out of the blue like it has. I  expected to miss him at the dinner table and hearing his laugh fill the house. I did not expect I would miss the late night discussions we used to have about baseball and life the most. I expected his brother Owen to be sad that he was gone, but I did not expect him to sleep in his bed for several weeks after he left or how quiet our house would be when they weren't here together. I expected our college son to pull away from us somewhat, but I did not expect the distance he had to have so he could start a life away from our family.

At MWSU Pink Night Game

The good news is, we are finding our bearings once again. We have began to adjust to life without Kellan here, and he is finding a routine and becoming more accustomed to life away from us. It is still hard, but thankfully our new normal is beginning to feel more normal than new. We know without a doubt that our relationship with him at it's core is still the same even though he spends most of his time in a different state.

I am not sure a family can really ever be fully prepared for a life event like this, but I think that keeping the lines of communication open can help you through it. Trust your instincts, don't be afraid to ask questions and be honest about feelings, perceptions and realities.

Looking forward to this time next year, I believe we will all have settled in nicely. We will look forward to the time we spend as a family and not focus on the days spent apart. We will celebrate our progress, learn from any missteps and, in the end, be stronger for having experienced this season in life.

Blue October

Most years the end to the regular Major League Baseball season is a sullen time for our family. We love watching our boys in blue play the game we love. This year however is different. After a 29 year drought the Royals are in the post season. It is officially Blue October in Kansas City.

This team and I have a history. I was born in May of 1969 in a suburb of Kansas City. Later that summer, the Royals, one of four MLB expansion teams played their first game at old Municipal Stadium. The team replaced the Athletics's that had recently moved to Oakland.

As a young girl I listening to the Royals on the radio. At the time I understood very little about the game itself, but I enjoyed it's tempo and the consistency of hearing Denny Matthews' voice calling the plays. I knew the players whose numbers are retired and celebrated on the Hall of Fame wall at Kauffman Stadium, along with their skipper Dick Howser.

Our lucky cap is working so far!

I was in high school in 1985 and watched the World Series with my family. There was a parade down town to welcome the Champions back to KC. I remember many of my friends leaving school to attend. The whole area was united and proud.

Since then, my life has been full of mostly winning seasons, sadly that has not been the case for Royals Baseball.  I have never cared so much about their record. I continued to listen,watch and learn the game. I waited on them during the strike, I cheered them when they were winning and defended them when they weren't.

I have learned and grown to love the game of baseball through this team. I am so grateful for the people it has brought into my life and the memories we have shared. It has give me a conversation piece, a common interest and a bond with my boys that I may not of had otherwise.

These days baseball season is a family affair. We listen and watch games together, we have countless memories of Spring Training, the All Star Game and The K. And now, for the first time we are able to share the excitement of our team being in the Post Season. How fun is that?

Disappointment to opportunity

Everyone has experienced disappointment in their lifetime. It may have been a team they were cut from, a college they weren't accepted to, a job they didn't get or a relationship that didn't work out. And it comes tied to a variety of emotions ranging from sadness and grief to anger and resentment. Weather on a personal, professional or relational level disappointment is always hard to deal with.

Recently we had such an experience in our family. After sitting out of football his eighth grade year due to suffering a  concussion the prior season, Owen had his heart set on playing this year for his high school team. He attended the football camp offered by the high school coaching staff and joined their summer weightlifting and conditioning program. He was working hard and his plan was in place and going well. Until...he injured his back during weightlifting. He tried to push through and did not even admit anything was wrong until several days later. He continued to play baseball and do his workouts through the pain.  He is a tough kid and knows the saying,"there is a difference between being hurt and injured". Well in the case he was definitely injured. He was seen by our chiropractor and placed on restricted activity for almost 4 weeks. He was released to go back to limited activity the day he should have started two-a-day practices. He made the decision on his own not to play this season. He knew he wasn't physically ready and he did not want to risk further injury because he wasn't prepared to play.

Owen riding in the fire truck for the Old Settlers Parade.

 As parents we applauded his ability to make such a mature decision at 14 with no prompting from us. And although we were all a little sad things had not worked out the way he had hoped, we did not want stay stuck in the negative place that disappointment can sometimes bring. It can be easy to say "why me" or " that isn't fair", but if you dwell on that you may miss out on other opportunities.
 
 Owen quickly decided that he would look at this situation in a positive way. Without football on his schedule he would now have time to participate in some other things he would otherwise not of had time for. He decided to play fall baseball with his new team Building Champions and he joined the Olathe Fire Department's Explorers Post. He also is now working out under the watchful eye of the trainers at Cross Fit Olathe. He has turned his disappointment into opportunity.

Owen catching one of his favorite lefties.

These days some children have not ever experienced disappointment of any kind. They are given rewards and trophies for participation, sports leagues have rules in place to mandate equal playing time despite ability,work ethic,or attitude and we encourage all children in a class be invited to birthday parties. These are just a few examples of how society has tried to minimize the chance for disappointment or hurt feelings. No parent wants to see their child hurting or sad, but sometimes to truly learn something you first need to live it.

As strange as this may sound, I am grateful for times like these. They are a chance for us to parent our children while they are still close to us. A chance to teach them how to react when life throws them a curve ball, because it will.  And when it does you want to be ready so you aren't caught looking.

Romans 5:3-4  "We can rejoice,too,when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation." 

Tales of Two Freshman-Part 2

Today we left a part of our heart on a college campus in St. Joseph, MO. And even though we have been preparing for this day for a long time, I am not sure it is possible to be completely prepared for a moment like this.

The baseball team had a full day planned for us. After checking into the dorm we attended a meeting to introduce us to the baseball program. We were very impressed with everyone who spoke. From the coaches, to the trainers, to the Athletic Director. Each one seemed genuine and very excited about the program. They have a plan in place to help the student athletes succeed academically, athletically, personally, socially and in the end, be prepared to move to the next phase of their life with all the tools they need to succeed. We took a tour of the high quality facilities and ate lunch with the other baseball families.

Kellan at the MO West Field

Nerves turned excitement as the day progressed. What an amazing opportunity that our son is about to be a part of. He set a goal to be a college baseball player when he was a little boy and in a few short days that will be a reality for him. With the help of some key coaches in his life, he has earned it. Lucky for us - we get to sit in the stands and watch it happen.

But, this is about more than just baseball. It is about him finding his way in a world away from us. He's ready. He is smart, confident, grounded and a leader. He has a strong value system and his faith is a priority in his life. Without a doubt those things will guide him in a positive way going forward.

It is also as much about us finding our way with him away from us. He has a presence that is hard to describe. He loves life and it shows. His laugh is unmistakable and we will all miss hearing it fill the house. He is a thinker and a talker and I will miss our late night talks about baseball and other random subjects. But, his absence will make us more appreciative of the time we do get to spend with him. We will all find a new normal and it will be good, just different than before.

There were tears shed when we left today, and maybe a few since then too. They are tears of sadness mixed with tears of joy and pride as well. It has been the pleasure of our life to parent this boy into the young man he is today. We know that God loves him even more than we do and that He has a purpose and a plan for his future.

As we said goodbye, Kellan hugged us and said " Thanks for everything, I love you." Simple but impactful words from our college Freshman.


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Tales of Two Freshman- Part 1

Today our youngest son Owen started high school. He was very excited. Any bit of nerves were hidden behind a big smile as he road off with his brother who had offered to take him to school.

He's Off!

We have been here before as a family, four years ago as our oldest son too started his freshman year at the same high school. Little has changed in regards to the school itself. The size, their high academic standards and the majority of the staff have remained the same. We have grown familiar with the expectations and we are fully equipped with Orange and Blue spirit wear. Even though so much has stayed the same, one thing is very different,  the student.

Our oldest son had a wonderful high school experience. He had great friends and was involved in FCA, the Leadership program and played baseball. He did very well academically in the classroom and on tests. He enjoys the process of learning and his personality lends itself to being the kind of student teachers like to have in class. He fits in box.

Our hope is that our youngest son will have the same wonderful high school experience even though he may not fit in the box as well as his brother did. He is smart, inquisitive, creative, interesting, athletic, relational, kind hearted, witty and full of personality. Unfortunately most of those qualities are not things that are given a grade or a test score. He has a big voice, which can be a negative when talking in class, but when he sings it is a huge asset. He is a people person and can hold a conversation people of with all ages. We know that all of these things will serve him well in life even if they don't always do the same in the classroom.

This picture captures a lot of who Owen is.

As we move into this next phase of Owen's education our goal as his parents is to find a balance between who he is and who he is expected to be. We will encourage him to take classes that feed his interests and fit his personality, as well as those that stretch him. We will be supportive of his teachers while at the same time encourage him to advocate for himself. We will focus on his strengths more than his challenges, and hope his teachers will do the same. Education is important and it will be a priority in our house. But it will never be a priority over "who" we are and our strengths.

He goes back tomorrow and will meet all of his teachers for the first time. I pray that they will see him for everything his is and all that he can be. I know that God has something big planned for this boy!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Make It Count

Three years ago today, Army Spc. Spencer C. Duncan was killed in action when the Chinook helicopter he was in was shot down in Afghanistan.  In memory of Spencer his family started a foundation to help support United States Veterans and their families. Proceeds from the annual Make it Count Today 5K race go to the foundation.

 For the past three years, along with other members of the JC Naturals baseball teams, our family has helped staff a water station along the race course. The boys enjoy watching the runners pass by and take pride in the job they've been given.



As a part of the event the Army has Chinook helicopters set up so that runners, volunteers and spectators can take a walk through and around the aircraft. As a memorial to Spencer, his picture and uniform are on display in the seat he would have occupied as a door gunner. This year pictures of all 30 soldiers and one service dog that lost their lives that day lined the seats of the helicopter. Their photos were also held by volunteers on the race path, one every 10th of a mile. Our oldest son had the honor of holding a picture along "The Boulevard Of The Brave".

Boulevard Of The Brave



As parents we have tried to instill in our boys a sense of patriotism and pride, as well as an appreciation and gratitude for those who have given so much for our country.  They read about this in history books, see stories in movies, watch the news and hear about soldiers who have lost their lives.  Being able to put a face to the sacrifice, has impacted them in a life changing way.

As one friend and race organizer put it "While I absolutely hate the tragedy that brings us together, I have to say it is just awesome to watch this group selflessly give so much to honor and support Spencer, his family and our treasured veterans."We are so thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this event and we will be back next year to Make it Count again!

To read more about Spencer and the foundation please visit their website Make It Count Today



It will always a good day to be a Natural!

This week our youngest son Owen played the final game of his summer baseball season.  His team played close to 90 games together from April to June, but still somehow the season seemed short.

This team came together in the fall of 2009 through mutual friends and school contacts, with the desire to play baseball at a high level in the right way. It was a hodgepodge group of sorts, with players coming from several different cities and school districts throughout the county. From the first season this team was different. The players, coaches, sibling and parents all got along which lead to a positive environment. The boys accepted each other as teammates and became good friends.

 Through the years, players have left for various reasons and new ones joined the team. Each addition was welcomed in as if they had always been there. Of the current 11 players only 5 are original to the team, but there has never been an "us" and "them" attitude. When you put on the Naturals uniform you are one of us.

The five original Naturals on the current team.

  Our coaches have created a culture of respect. Respect for the game, the team and yourself. The boys encourage each other and hold each other accountable, but in a loving way. No back biting or finger pointing. It is a team sport, a group effort. They enjoy being around each other and it shows.  We have been around sports enough to know that this is definitely not the norm. Other people see this in our team as well. Each season we receive compliments from opposing teams, umpires and other officials on the conduct of our team on and off the field. These boys have been taught the game of baseball, but more importantly they have learned what it means to be a good teammates, friends and young men.

Our Coaches

The siblings are the same way. There is a group of them at every game. They rarely bring anything to keep themselves occupied, they make their own fun. They get along and look after each other. They miss their own activities in order to come to the games and are disappointed when it is time to go. They too have welcomed in new additions to the group with open arms.

The parents know their roll on this team. They are the fans. They cheer for not just their boy, but for the rest of them as well. They sit as a collective, supportive group. They don't coach or make calls from their side of the fence and maintain the same level of respect that is expected from their sons.  All of the parents have jumped in to give rides, provide water, Gatorade, lunch, dinner, whatever anyone needed without thinking twice. We have been more like a family than a team in a lot of ways.

For two summers in a row, we have had players get injured during the season. The families have rallied around those boys through prayers, texts and other acts of support. Someone recently called these boys  a Band of Brothers and they really are.

The end of this season holds more significance than any other. These boys are headed to high school in the fall and the future of our team is uncertain. Some boys may choose to play baseball at a different level in preparation for college recruitment, others may choose to give up baseball all together to pursue other interest or devote more time to their primary sport. Regardless of what happens moving forward, the memories we've made, the fun we've had and more importantly the relationships we've built through this team will stay with us long after we've left the ball park. It will always be a good day to be a Natural!

2014 J.C. Naturals 14U-AAA Baseball Team

"You'll talk about the memories you make on the diamond 
for the rest of your life."
-Baseballism

A not so traditional Father

Father's Day is usually a day filled with traditions geared around celebrating the fathers in our lives. Families get together for meals, take Dad to a ball game or out for a round of golf. They give gifts to show their gratitude for all he has done for them and continues to do. My family is no exception. We celebrate in the traditional way, but the man I celebrate is not so traditional.

My mom was a teenage mother, married at 15, a mother of twins at 16. I had a fairly stable childhood and their marriage stayed intact until I was in Junior High. After they divorced we maintained a good relationship with our biological father. My sisters and I kept the typical every other weekend schedule for several years. And while I would say there were flaws in that relationship it seemed to work.

As I entered high school, both he and our mom remarried. We found it harder to keep up our visit schedule and unfortunately his new wife was not very supportive of our relationship. We saw him less and less and eventually lost contact all together. To be truthful I don't remember all the details of  the situation or why he chose to handle things the way he did.  What I do know is that I have not spoken to him for more than 25 years.

Our new Step-Father filled that role in a very literal way. He stepped in to our lives and assumed responsibility for our family. He was a young man, only 7 years older than my sister and I, with no children of his own. He walked a fine line; he wanted to be an influence in our lives without interfering too much. He eventually adopted all three of us and he is the only Grandfather any of our kids have known.

My parents renewed their vows for their 30th anniversary.

I can't speak for my sisters, but for me I don't consider our Father- Daughter relationship to be a "traditional" one. I think due in part to the slight age difference between us and the time in which he entered that role in my life. I do however, consider it to be loving, supportive, fun, and uniquely ours. Traditional or not, I appreciate all he has done and how he continues to fill a crucial role in our family.

Happy Father's Day- I love you !

This Summer

This Summer

Even though my boys have been out of school for almost two weeks, my summer break officially started today! I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to be home and available for all of the excitement summer brings. This summer I am looking  forward to having this time more than ever before. 

 As a child, my sisters and I spent most summer days at my Grandmother's house. Cousins would visit, we went fishing, ran through the sprinkler, ate Bologna sandwiches and waved down the ice cream man for Bomb Pops. We helped her with her garden and took naps in front of the floor fan. We attended very few organized activities other than swimming lessons or Girl Scout Camp.  Most weekends were spent camping at one of the local lakes with family and friends. We swam, played board games, ate s'mores , listened to the Royals on the radio and visited around the campfire. Summer was a time to relax and get recharged for the next school year.

Summer 2003

Summer time now looks very different. Many kids attend lessons and camps or scheduled activities on a daily basis. I know it is important that kids stay physically active and engaged. I don't want my boys zoned out on the couch in front of the T.V. or X-box all day. So, we have tried to find a balance between the two. On weekends we don't camp or go to the lake, we play baseball. Just like camping, baseball takes place outside in a laid back atmosphere. This allows conversations to take place and relationships to be built both in the stands and in the dug out. It is both hectic and restful at the same time and we love it!

Summer 2014-That was a quick 11 years!

As an adult, I too am guilty of over scheduling the summer. As I sit here on my first day off, my to do list is long. In a few short weeks our family will experience a lot of change. One son is off to college and the other is entering high school. There will be a lot to do between now and then. Knowing what lies ahead of us this fall, makes me appreciate the time we have now even more. I want to take full advantage once again of the blessing that have been placed in my life. I want to enjoy this summer like I did when I was a kid. Take in the small things, enjoy the people around me, slow down and recharge for what is coming next.  I will be aware of my to do list and commitments, and what really needs done will get done. The rest can wait. I will always have things to do, places to go, people to see. I will never have This Summer again!



Intention or Chance

This month has been filled with many activities celebrating our son Kellan's high school graduation. We have attended award ceremonies, senior night, year end baseball banquet, open house and of course the big event graduation itself.

 Throughout each one of these events I was impressed with his accomplishments and humbled by the kind words that were spoken about the young man he has become. It has taken 18 years to get him to this point and we as parents cannot take all of the credit. We are so thankful for our family and countless other people who have come along side us through this journey. 

 There have been those who we have intentionally placed around him. These family friends have invested in him, supported him and loved him unconditionally as if  he were their own. They have provided opportunities for growth, work and service. As well as a great example of marriage and family.

Others have been by chance. He's had teachers who have challenged him academically, encouraged him to think differently, pursue his passions and be himself. A FCA sponsor and Youth Pastor who recognized his desire to share his faith with others and equipped  him with the knowledge and confidence to do just that.He's had coaches who believed in him and pushed him to reach his goal of playing baseball at the college level. All the while building in him a strong sense of character, discipline and perseverance.

 Some of you have been all of these things to him. You have seen his potential, you have seen his heart, you have invested your time and money in him, you have loved him. You have done this not out of obligation, but because you wanted to.

Kellan deserves some credit of course. He listened to the wise council given to him, chose friends who hold him accountable and share his same beliefs. He took on challenges, kept a positive attitude, worked hard, set goals and achieved them.

Now on the other side of these 18 years, I am extremely proud of him and eternally grateful for the people God placed in his life. Whether by intention or chance your impact will last a lifetime.

Don't be THAT parent

We are less than a month into our baseball season and already we have encountered "That Parent". You know the one. They stand right behind home plate arguing balls and strikes. They yell at other players when errors are made. They coach from the stands, at the fence and outside of the dugout, using a Gator-Aide delivery as an excuse to be there. They make games uncomfortable for the other parents and fans, not to mention their own child.

Sports of all kinds can be a great way for kids to learn skills that will carry over to everyday life.  They learn cooperation, work ethic, perseverance and failure. Baseball especially is a game of failure, and often times the success or failure is determined by someone else. The runner feels he beats a throw to first, but is called out. The batter thought a pitch should have been ball four outside, but instead it's a called strike three. These are judgment calls by the umpire. Sometimes however there is no judgment involved, just bad luck. A ball that is hit to the fence in center field is caught just because the center fielder happened to be in the right place at the right time. It happens. And when it does it can be hard to deal with. Especially if the player has a parent like the one mentioned above.

As parents, I feel we need to be careful how we approach our children's success and failure in whatever they do.In the book,  Keepers of the Sandlot the author Bill Severns talks about the need for parents to release their kids to the game. He writes "Release your kids from pressure. Release your kids from unrealistic expectations. Release your kids from fear of failure. Release your kids from the constant harassment to exceed and always win at all cost. Release your kids to play the game. Release them when they are ready to fly. Release them confident." Our boys have had great coaches and teammates throughout their time playing baseball. This has helped us to be able to release them to be coached with out us interfering. We feel like our roll is to be their biggest fans and encouragers. If they want or need coaching and advice from us, we do that after the game, at home, when they are ready to accept it.

Bill Severns writes about his as well. His words are written below and are such a great reminder of the power we have as parents.  Our kids need to know that we love them regardless of how the stat book or score board reads. Don't be "That Parent". This season is short, don't waste it.

Don't make the mistake of being a critic on the ride home, stewing over a loss or making too much of a victory. This is the time to let your kid know how great they are, regardless of the way they played. That they're valuable to you, and that you're glad they're your kid. It's a time of encouragement. A time to soak in your kid's kid-ness. I've said it all throughout this book, the time goes by too, too quickly to make it anything but fun. Your kids will figure out life along the way. They'll figure our the fundamentals of the game. 

And one day, you'll drop that kid off somewhere- college, most likely- and then you'll ride home by yourself.  And you'll miss those rides home, and you'll either wish you'd made the most of them, or you'll be thankful that you used that time wisely.

Every message you send is received. Make the ride home the best part of the game.

Bill Severns, Keepers of the Sandlot

Learning Their Language

I grew up in a family dominated by girls and girlie things. My sisters, cousins, and I were very close and we spent a lot of time together. We played house and dress up. My mom owned a beauty salon for most of my life, so we had fun doing each others hair, nails and make up. I did not play sports, I was a dancer and a Girl Scout. We watched musicals and soaps, cooked, went shopping and had late night talks about nothing at all.  I was around boys of course, but in my daily life I was surrounded by females. 

Now my family is dominated by men and manly things. I quickly learned that boys are different! They play rough. They are loud. They love sports, action movies and dirt. They consider bathing optional, until around age 13. They would rather eat than shop. They would rather eat than cook.  They would rather eat than do just about anything! Conversations are meaningful, but brief. The less words the better.

So, with this realization I made a decision. I needed some help! I wanted to be able to communicate with my boys and my husband in a way that made sense to them. I wanted to understand them and be able to connect with them the way I had with my family growing up. I started by reading Dr. James Dobson's book Bringing up Boys.  It is full of great information and I keep it as a resource to this day. This is only one of many great books out there written to about raising boys.    

 As I went to work on the "how" of communicating, I was lacking in the "what" to communicate. I had very little in common with these little men.  So I began to engage in their world. I learned the names of Super Heroes and their powers. I listened as my youngest named off types of fire trucks and what equipment they carried. I even learned how to read Lego directions. I began tuned in to sports radio and watched ESPN. I started to speak their language.

I am still not fluent in their language.  I don't always get their humor, their reasoning or methods of getting things done, but that's OK. My goal is to understand them better, not change who they are. Instead, I have modified how I relate to them. I ask questions when more details are needed and I am specific when I asking them to do something. This method is not without challenges, but it works well most of the time.
Through this process we have developed shared interests as a family and that has made the communication easier. I would encourage any parent to do the same thing...mom's of boys especially. Because when your son wants to tell you all about the way he struck out their best hitter with a sick cutter or a two seam fastball on the outer half, you will want to know what he's talking about.

Spring Training 2014

Spring Training

March 15,2014

Every year as Spring rolls around our house is buzzing with excitement. There really is no off season for us in regards to baseball, but Spring brings on a whole new energy. Practices have started, high school tryouts are over and Major League Baseball is back on the TV and Radio.

This year as we look forward to our son's Senior season of high school baseball, our family is also training for a different kind of season. One of change. 

This Spring will not be about baseball alone. It will also be about the experiences and emotions of graduation. It will be about letting go of some things and holding on a little tighter to others. It will be about transition, both for him and for us. It will be about fear and excitement. About the pride we feel, not only in what he has accomplished, but more importantly for who he is.

Through it all, I want to sit back and enjoy it. Take it all in. Every pitch of every game, every minute of every event, and every "last" of the things that will no longer be a part of our daily lives with him. I want to be present and intentional. 

Just like in baseball, this season will come to an end, our team will be different. But I truly believe that at the core we will remain the same.
Change is hard no doubt about it. But, change can also bring opportunity, progress and growth. We are embracing this change being grateful for now and looking forward to what next season will bring.

"Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second and keep your foot on first." - Frederick B. Wilcox