What a difference a year makes

A year a go at this time our oldest son, Kellan had just decided where he would attend college. The process was both exciting and stressful. My husband and I did not attend college the traditional way, so this was all new to us. His decision was made somewhat more difficult because he wanted to play baseball at the college level. So finding a school that would be a fit both in academics and baseball proved to be a little more challenging. We completed all the steps and collected all of the requirements.  ACT, GPA, NCAA eligibility, applications, unofficial visits, official visits, and scholarships. We knew God had already figured it out, we just needed to relax and get out of the way. We were relieved once the decision had been made, but it also made what was once a distant day in time closer to a reality.

Getting settled.

 So, here we are one year later. We have navigated through a lot of uncharted territory. There were things I expected but just as many that I didn't see coming. I expected it to be hard to drive away and leave our son in a place where he knew no one but the three people he had just met. I did not expect it to be hard every time we visit or he comes home. I expected to be sad, and shed tears. I did not expect the sadness to hit me out of the blue like it has. I  expected to miss him at the dinner table and hearing his laugh fill the house. I did not expect I would miss the late night discussions we used to have about baseball and life the most. I expected his brother Owen to be sad that he was gone, but I did not expect him to sleep in his bed for several weeks after he left or how quiet our house would be when they weren't here together. I expected our college son to pull away from us somewhat, but I did not expect the distance he had to have so he could start a life away from our family.

At MWSU Pink Night Game

The good news is, we are finding our bearings once again. We have began to adjust to life without Kellan here, and he is finding a routine and becoming more accustomed to life away from us. It is still hard, but thankfully our new normal is beginning to feel more normal than new. We know without a doubt that our relationship with him at it's core is still the same even though he spends most of his time in a different state.

I am not sure a family can really ever be fully prepared for a life event like this, but I think that keeping the lines of communication open can help you through it. Trust your instincts, don't be afraid to ask questions and be honest about feelings, perceptions and realities.

Looking forward to this time next year, I believe we will all have settled in nicely. We will look forward to the time we spend as a family and not focus on the days spent apart. We will celebrate our progress, learn from any missteps and, in the end, be stronger for having experienced this season in life.