Sunday, June 15, 2014

A not so traditional Father

Father's Day is usually a day filled with traditions geared around celebrating the fathers in our lives. Families get together for meals, take Dad to a ball game or out for a round of golf. They give gifts to show their gratitude for all he has done for them and continues to do. My family is no exception. We celebrate in the traditional way, but the man I celebrate is not so traditional.

My mom was a teenage mother, married at 15, a mother of twins at 16. I had a fairly stable childhood and their marriage stayed intact until I was in Junior High. After they divorced we maintained a good relationship with our biological father. My sisters and I kept the typical every other weekend schedule for several years. And while I would say there were flaws in that relationship it seemed to work.

As I entered high school, both he and our mom remarried. We found it harder to keep up our visit schedule and unfortunately his new wife was not very supportive of our relationship. We saw him less and less and eventually lost contact all together. To be truthful I don't remember all the details of  the situation or why he chose to handle things the way he did.  What I do know is that I have not spoken to him for more than 25 years.

Our new Step-Father filled that role in a very literal way. He stepped in to our lives and assumed responsibility for our family. He was a young man, only 7 years older than my sister and I, with no children of his own. He walked a fine line; he wanted to be an influence in our lives without interfering too much. He eventually adopted all three of us and he is the only Grandfather any of our kids have known.

My parents renewed their vows for their 30th anniversary.
I can't speak for my sisters, but for me I don't consider our Father- Daughter relationship to be a "traditional" one. I think due in part to the slight age difference between us and the time in which he entered that role in my life. I do however, consider it to be loving, supportive, fun, and uniquely ours. Traditional or not, I appreciate all he has done and how he continues to fill a crucial role in our family.

Happy Father's Day- I love you !







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