Don't be THAT parent

We are less than a month into our baseball season and already we have encountered "That Parent". You know the one. They stand right behind home plate arguing balls and strikes. They yell at other players when errors are made. They coach from the stands, at the fence and outside of the dugout, using a Gator-Aide delivery as an excuse to be there. They make games uncomfortable for the other parents and fans, not to mention their own child.

Sports of all kinds can be a great way for kids to learn skills that will carry over to everyday life.  They learn cooperation, work ethic, perseverance and failure. Baseball especially is a game of failure, and often times the success or failure is determined by someone else. The runner feels he beats a throw to first, but is called out. The batter thought a pitch should have been ball four outside, but instead it's a called strike three. These are judgment calls by the umpire. Sometimes however there is no judgment involved, just bad luck. A ball that is hit to the fence in center field is caught just because the center fielder happened to be in the right place at the right time. It happens. And when it does it can be hard to deal with. Especially if the player has a parent like the one mentioned above.

As parents, I feel we need to be careful how we approach our children's success and failure in whatever they do.In the book,  Keepers of the Sandlot the author Bill Severns talks about the need for parents to release their kids to the game. He writes "Release your kids from pressure. Release your kids from unrealistic expectations. Release your kids from fear of failure. Release your kids from the constant harassment to exceed and always win at all cost. Release your kids to play the game. Release them when they are ready to fly. Release them confident." Our boys have had great coaches and teammates throughout their time playing baseball. This has helped us to be able to release them to be coached with out us interfering. We feel like our roll is to be their biggest fans and encouragers. If they want or need coaching and advice from us, we do that after the game, at home, when they are ready to accept it.

Bill Severns writes about his as well. His words are written below and are such a great reminder of the power we have as parents.  Our kids need to know that we love them regardless of how the stat book or score board reads. Don't be "That Parent". This season is short, don't waste it.

Don't make the mistake of being a critic on the ride home, stewing over a loss or making too much of a victory. This is the time to let your kid know how great they are, regardless of the way they played. That they're valuable to you, and that you're glad they're your kid. It's a time of encouragement. A time to soak in your kid's kid-ness. I've said it all throughout this book, the time goes by too, too quickly to make it anything but fun. Your kids will figure out life along the way. They'll figure our the fundamentals of the game. 

And one day, you'll drop that kid off somewhere- college, most likely- and then you'll ride home by yourself.  And you'll miss those rides home, and you'll either wish you'd made the most of them, or you'll be thankful that you used that time wisely.

Every message you send is received. Make the ride home the best part of the game.

Bill Severns, Keepers of the Sandlot