What Motherhood Has Taught Me So Far...

Since our boys left for college,  I've found myself reflecting on my experiences as a mother and what I have learned along the way.  Had I known then what I know now, I surely would've done a few things different.  Here are some of the lessons motherhood has taught me so far. Hopefully someone a few steps behind me will find them helpful.

This picture describes them perfectly!

* No Two Kids Are Alike: Our boys are a prefect example of this. Our oldest is cautious, intellectual, relaxed, sentimental and optimistic. He loves school and excels in academics.  Our youngest will take some risks, is stoic, tenderhearted, great with people and observant. He loves to learn, but is not a fan of school. Due to theses differences we could not  parent them completely the same.

 * Take An Interest : This is vitally important, especially for mothers of boys. It gives you a topic of conversation, a way to connect with them.  I learned about Legos, firetrucks and baseball among other things.  I loved knowing the baseball lingo and being able to understand the discussions in the car after games or around the table.

*Be Intentional- Be Involved: Eat dinner as a family, at the table. Be protective of family time, it's ok to say non to play dates or time other activities. Volunteer at school and help out with other activities.  Get to know your kids friends and their parents. I loved being a part of my son's school activities and I    met some amazing people in the process.

Being silly with the boy

*Motherly Instinct Is Real:
 I believe this God given. So don't dismiss it or let others discount it.
Heighten your awareness of it and listen to it, always.

*Be An Advocate: Speaking up is sometimes hard for me, but I find it easier to do when it concerns my kids. I am not talking about moving every hurdle out of their path or expecting special treatment. I am referring to situations that require skills that they don't have yet. Let them try, but be prepared to step in if needed.Be respectful, get all the facts, trust your instincts if you upset someone in the process that's ok.

*Numbers Do Lie A Little Bit: GPA's and standardized test scores do not give us a full picture of a person's skill set or personality, yet we have placed a high level of importance on them.  This causes a problem for those students who don't excel within these boundaries. They are asked to fit a standard set by people who've never even met them. Our family has worked hard to combat the negative impact and pressure this can have on kids. I am not against testing or standards, but I do see a need to reevaluate how we use them.

* Stay Up Late: Late at night after homework, dates, a game or hanging with the "boys", that's when they'd want to talk.  Their minds slowed down, they were reliving their day and would pop in our room to share random thoughts or stories that came to mind. At times it was hard, but so worth it. Those chats are one of the things I miss most about not having them home.                                                     

* Be Their Home Base: Even on their worst day, in their worst mood, they need you. When they act like they don't care what we think, they do. They save all the ugliness for us because they know they can. We are where they can relax and let go of everything they've been holding on to. You're the one that has always been their for them and they need to know you always will be.

Team Richards 

 * It Takes A Village:
We all need a community, a tribe if you will, to come alongside us on this journey. Our kids need other adults investing in them, teaching them and loving on them. We've had an amazing group of people that have become an extension of our family and filled this role for us. It is our hope that they will continue to be a part of all our lives.

*You're Stronger Than You Think:
Strength is woven into every one of the lessons listed here. At times it is unexplainable and shows up in unexpected ways.  Yet it always seems to be there when we need it the most.

*Motherhood Will Change You: I would not recognized the young mother I was 23 years ago. Every challenge and celebration has changed who I have become. It has been the hardest and most rewarding job I have every had and I am grateful for it everyday.

On a daily basis mothering looks very different for me now, but at it's core and in my heart it remains the same.  Our family has turned the page to another chapter and I am excited to see what new lessons lie ahead for me.