Tricks of the Trade and One-Liners

So far the majority of the posts I have been motivated to write have been about things or situations that are surrounded by some sort of emotion. For this post however I have decided to write from a more practical point of view.  As always I hope that if you are reading this that you find it useful in some way.

I don't claim to have this parenting thing down by any means, but I have learned a thing or two over almost 20 years of motherhood.  Some of the lessons have been learned through trial and error. Others have been handed down to me by wise women I've had in my life in a number of different circles.I have also learned a lot from reading books and blogs about parenting and boys in general. I am so grateful to not be on this journey alone and for the grace that my boys have shown me over and over again.

For a while now I have been keeping two lists. The first I titled "Tricks of the Trade", and the other "One-Liners".  The tricks are little things I have discovered along the way that either make my life as a mother easier or richer. The One-Liners are things I catch myself or my husband saying frequently to our sons. Both lists have both silly and sincere things written on them, I hope you find them helpful and entertaining at the same time.  Here they are...

Tricks of The Trade:

Boys can be somewhat of a messy bunch. They aren't worried about nor bothered by untidy rooms, unpleasant smells, cluttered bathroom counters or the bit of lunch that ended up on their white
 t-shirt. So I have learned to have these things on hand to help prevent our second floor from smelling like a locker room.

• Clorox Wipes: These are a must for bathrooms, when their aim is not stellar and for counters that have had toothpaste and a number of other things spilled on them.
• Fe breeze/Air Fresheners: I always have some sort of air fresher in my boys rooms, this keeps the stink to a minimum especially when sweaty clothes get shoved into the hamper for days before being washed. Fe breeze is a great all around spray for any unpleasant smell that may occur in life.
• Laundry can be a challenge, especially if your boys play sports. Mine play baseball, and that involves a lot of dirt. I have developed a method that works well most of the time. Depending on the level of grime, I use a couple of different products. For really dirty garments I scrub and soak them in Fels-Naptha soap, this is an old time laundry bar soap available at Wal-Mart. For times when the dirt is not so bad, I use a basic pre-treat spray, but in either case the sooner the better as to not let the dirt set in.  Once I have done the pre-treating needed, I wash them on the longest setting with an extra rise cycle and I throw in some Tide Boost with my regular detergent. If all else fails, I take them  to the car wash, hang them on the floor mate clips and use the high power spray to get them clean. I have a two try rule, after that I concede the win to the dirt!

Our lives are busier than ever and I try hard to be prepared and keep things organized. 

• We have a family Google calendar that all four of us have access to. When we add things that involve our boys we invite them and that way they can start to keep track of their own activities and deadlines.
• I also have a notebook devoted to all the pieces of paper that seem to collect. Physical forms, permission slips, class contracts, practice schedules, and what ever else you want to add.
• To be prepared for spur of the moment get togethers with friends, I try and keep frozen pizza and brownie mix on hand. They are easy to make and boys love them. 

I have learned that boys are different in a lot of ways and how we approach situations concerning them needs to be different too. We as mother's need to be compassionate and loving, but keep in mind our role in preparing them for the expectations that will be placed on them as men.

• We need to advocate for our sons and teach them to do that for themselves. 
• Let them do it their way. Just because it's different than yours doesn't make it wrong. The dishes are put away correctly as long as the cabinet door shuts. Right?
• We should always be their soft place to fall when the world is not treating them very kind.
• We need to educate ourselves on the challenges our boys face today and will face in their future.
• And we need to remember that struggle is good and being uncomfortable is necessary to build character and self reliance.

Communication with a man-child can be a challenge, it takes some work. These things have been helpful to me in trying to create better communication between my boys and I.

• Ask a lot of questions, and accept their short answers.
• Give specific instructions.
• Let them come to you on their time, even if it is late at night.
• Talk less! The less words the better. A friend of mine describes a good conversation like this,   " Be bright, be brief,  be gone."  This is not to be mean or disrespectful. But with boys, the truth is, the shorter the conversation the more productive they seem to be. So that brings me to the one-liners. They are short and to the point, and seem to do the job!

One-Liners:

• Have you eaten
• Get a coaster
• Don't bounce that in here
• Use a napkin
• Turn those pants right side out
• Lean over
• Do you have everything you need
• Watch that hitch (in a parking lot)
• Take your cleats off 
• Make good choices
• Be a gentleman
• It's got to be somewhere
• Treat yourself and others with love and respect

I saved what I feel is both a trick of the trade and one-liner combined. It may be the most important of all for last. " Trust Your Instincts". You know what your boy needs more than anyone else. He in turn, with your guidance, will learn to trust what he knows is true and right.