The Secret to Having It All...

I passed this sign in early August at a small church in Bonner Springs, Kansas. We were on our way to pick up my son's car from our mechanic after a pre-college tune up. On the way back I stopped to take this picture. I had forgotten about it until I was scrolling through my gallery and came across it. With tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought the timing was perfect.

In a culture that thrives on upgrades, trade-ins, promotions and excess, it can sometimes be easy to to lose sight of what matters most and how great our lives truly are. I love these words and I wonder if we were to stop and think about them, would we realize that for the large majority of us they're true.

I did just that, and this is what I found...

I live in a great country, not perfect, but great none the less. I am thankful to live here. I am also extremely grateful for the men and women who have and continue to defend and serve "The Land of the Free and The Home of the Brave".

I also live in an awesome City, in a great County with high quality schools and public servants. I appreciate the hard work our teachers and administrators do each and every day to provide our kids with one of the best public educations in the country. I am grateful to our public servants, our police and fire departments. They work tirelessly to keep people and property safe. Many of whom will be spending Thanksgiving away from their families. Their families have my appreciation as well.

I have a job that provides me small opportunities to impact the lives of students, parents, visitors and staff every day. I am grateful for each relationship I have built there and to be a part of it all.

My extended family is loving and supportive and I have a wonderful circle of friends.

I have a warm house to live in, food to eat, a car to get me where I need to go and my health, despite my love of ice cream.

I have two sons that are some of the best men I know and a husband that has lead by example to help make them that way.

And, I have the grace and forgiveness of a Heavenly Father that loves me more than I can imagine.

So for me when I read the words on that sign again, after the list I just wrote, it's hard not to believe them.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. I think I have more than enough...I have it ALL!

 Happy Thanksgiving!

A Good Education Is About More Than Academics

A week or so ago I read an article on line and later found it in video form. It was titled " What Students Really Need to Hear". The article was written more like a letter from a teacher to their students and focuses on the need to teach our children lessons not written in text books. Things like resilience, problem solving, hard work, persistence, how to except challenges and manage fear. The author C. Mielke writes; "You see the main event of school is not academic learning. It never has been.  Yes, algebra, essay writing, Spanish, the judicial process-all are important and worth knowing, but not the main event.  The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult."

I am not an educator, but I see the need for these skills everyday working as an elementary school secretary and a mother of two boys. A forgotten lunch for example can be enough to bring some children to tears, while others deal with it in stride. A not so favorable test score can either be seen as a chance for improvement or a reason to stop trying all together. What makes the difference?

I believe the difference lies in how we look at our children's education and what is the ultimate goal for them. So much emphasis is put on GPA's, ACT scores and other academically measured abilities, that I think we can overlook the things that aren't graded or scored, but that are equally important. Our children also need to learn how to relate well to people, have productive conversations, take initiative, overcome adversity, be creative, and a have a little fun along the way. If our goal is to build productive, successful, happy adults, all these principals need to be included in lesson plans along side more traditional subjects.

Our boys have been fortunate to have many teachers who understand the concepts expressed by the writer of this article. And while we are very grateful and appreciative for their influence and impact on our sons, we also realize that it is not completely up to them. We as parents have a responsibility to show diligence in these areas as well. We have learned that it is ok for them to be uncomfortable or unhappy for the short term, in order to gain the long term skills such as self reliance and resourcefulness. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary. Just as necessary as making them do their homework.

Below is the link to the article, it is worth reading.

What Students Really Need to Hear

What a difference a year makes

A year a go at this time our oldest son, Kellan had just decided where he would attend college. The process was both exciting and stressful. My husband and I did not attend college the traditional way, so this was all new to us. His decision was made somewhat more difficult because he wanted to play baseball at the college level. So finding a school that would be a fit both in academics and baseball proved to be a little more challenging. We completed all the steps and collected all of the requirements.  ACT, GPA, NCAA eligibility, applications, unofficial visits, official visits, and scholarships. We knew God had already figured it out, we just needed to relax and get out of the way. We were relieved once the decision had been made, but it also made what was once a distant day in time closer to a reality.

Getting settled.

 So, here we are one year later. We have navigated through a lot of uncharted territory. There were things I expected but just as many that I didn't see coming. I expected it to be hard to drive away and leave our son in a place where he knew no one but the three people he had just met. I did not expect it to be hard every time we visit or he comes home. I expected to be sad, and shed tears. I did not expect the sadness to hit me out of the blue like it has. I  expected to miss him at the dinner table and hearing his laugh fill the house. I did not expect I would miss the late night discussions we used to have about baseball and life the most. I expected his brother Owen to be sad that he was gone, but I did not expect him to sleep in his bed for several weeks after he left or how quiet our house would be when they weren't here together. I expected our college son to pull away from us somewhat, but I did not expect the distance he had to have so he could start a life away from our family.

At MWSU Pink Night Game

The good news is, we are finding our bearings once again. We have began to adjust to life without Kellan here, and he is finding a routine and becoming more accustomed to life away from us. It is still hard, but thankfully our new normal is beginning to feel more normal than new. We know without a doubt that our relationship with him at it's core is still the same even though he spends most of his time in a different state.

I am not sure a family can really ever be fully prepared for a life event like this, but I think that keeping the lines of communication open can help you through it. Trust your instincts, don't be afraid to ask questions and be honest about feelings, perceptions and realities.

Looking forward to this time next year, I believe we will all have settled in nicely. We will look forward to the time we spend as a family and not focus on the days spent apart. We will celebrate our progress, learn from any missteps and, in the end, be stronger for having experienced this season in life.