One Word Could Change Your Life.

 

Historically, I've not been a big believer in New Year's resolutions. Making life changes or creating new habits is hard, and while some people may need that extra pressure, for me, it's never been a very successful practice. However, on the backside of 2020, the ongoing pandemic and the climate in our country, I wanted to find a way to focus on something positive.

As the new year began, I committed to reading a daily devotional, something I had never really done. I settled on Live in Grace, Walk in Love, by Bob Goff. I have read other books of his and appreciate his positivity and simple approach towards Christianity. He is a master of quotes and phrases that stick with you.

At the same time, I also began reading a book I had been given as a gift titled, One Word That Will Change Your Life. This book walks the reader through a three-step process of choosing one word to focus on for a whole year. I've always had an appreciation for words. I recognize that great quotes, mottos, mission statements, prayers, speeches, and song lyrics, can impact our lives in profound ways. However, I had never considered the impact that a single word might have on a person.  

  As I worked my way through these two books, I quickly became aware of what my word would be. I chose LOVE as the word that would be my focus.

 Love is a little word with a lot of power, and its definitions are both complex and straightforward. Some may argue it can be overused, and I would agree. But I also believe it is one of the most essential words in any language.

 So, I had my word, now what? The next step was finding ways to live it out daily and keep it at the center of my thoughts and actions. As a starting point, I wanted Love to drive the way I look at people and situations. I wanted my responses and the decisions I made to be based on Love as well. But this would need to be more than a superficial, Hallmark Movie kind of Love, or a transactional kind of Love. Instead, it had to be Love without any agenda or expectations. Bob Goff puts it this way, "The rules for love are simple; Everybody Always." This phrase has become an anthem of sorts for me. It answers the questions of who should I love and for how long?

 Initially, this idea seemed simple, but I quickly realized that this half of the exercise would be more complicated than the first. After all, most of it would revolve around people and other things I have no control over. Regardless of its complexity, I was determined to follow through on the commitment I made to myself.

 To be clear, trying to lead with Love does not in any way mean we should excuse or accept the hurtful words, bad behavior, or poor decisions of other people. It is possible to show Love to someone without being a part of their drama or putting yourself in an unhealthy situation. Holding others accountable is often required, but even that is most effective when done through a lens of kindness and compassion. We must also show ourselves some Love, and setting good boundaries is a vital part of that.

 At this point, I've been working on this practice for nearly ten months. There have been days I have failed miserably. I've let frustration, sadness, or several other things replace Love as my first reaction. But on the days when I get it right, there is a sense of peace and accomplishment, and it feels awesome.

 This whole process is teaching me quite a bit.  I am learning how to give Love without expectations and how to think about situations from other points of view. It’s helped me realize that even people I am closest to will hurt and disappoint me, they may not mean to, but they will.   And regardless of who you are or what stage of life you may be in, everyone could use a little grace and mercy.

 But most importantly, it's taught me that Love is more than a word. It is an emotion, an action, an attitude. Love can also be a choice. We can choose to love those who we disagree with, those who have treated us poorly, those who we don't understand. We can choose to separate the person from their behavior with the understanding that we're all carrying with us a lifetime of experiences that have shaped who we are. By choosing Love, we can change not only our life but possibly someone else's life too!