Recently I have seen a new type of parent emerging. I have coined them "Snow Plow Parents". These parents work hard to clear a path for their children free of anything that could cause them any hardship or disappointment. This usually includes all aspects of their lives from schoolwork and grades, extra curricular activities and sports to even their relationships with friends, classmates and teachers. All of these parents love their children and believe they are doing the right thing. They mean well and desire to prepare their children for success in the future, when in reality they may be doing just the opposite.
No parent likes to see a child fail, make mistakes or experience disappointment, especially at the hands of someone else. However, these experiences teach communication skills, perseverance, resilience and grit, all of which in my opinion are an essential part of growth and a well-rounded life experience.
We've had many situations over the years where it would have been easy for us to intervene hoping too fix a problem or change an outcome. The most recent occurred last year with an organization that we had been involved with for many years. Owen was given the opportunity to meet with the leader of the program to discuss his plans moving forward. The conversation felt very "Dear John-ish", but lacked any clarity on the future. After waiting nearly a week for a follow up call, we decided it would be best to go another direction. We didn't call and plead, make demands or even ask for an explanation. My husband just sent a text thanking them for everything they had done for our son's over the past 6 years.
Owen was very much involved in making that decision. A lot of time was spent discussing the pros and cons of the situation with him. Strong relationships had been formed with many families in this group and he was proud to be a part of the program, so making the decision to leave was not easy.Although this experience was painful, we are thankful it happened. It gave us a chance to help Owen navigate through adversity and become more confident and mature in the process. We do wish he would have gotten the follow up phone call we were told he would receive. Not receiving that call robbed him of an additional chance to grow and learn through a tough situation.
With all of that being said, Owen has moved forward and is in a great place now. This disappointment has brought him opportunities that he may not have had otherwise and we are excited to see where they may lead him.
What we've learned from this situation is this......life is hard, our kids are going to have struggles, they are going to be disappointed and get their feelings hurt. Adversity is inevitable in life and what they need from us are the skills and confidence to deal with it when comes. They need to fail, they need to own their mistakes, they need to find their own way and we need to let them.
