What Are Your Words Saying To Those Around You?

Growing up as a very quiet and shy person, conversations were difficult for me. I was perfectly content to let my twin sister do the talking for both of us. We even developed our own language that not even our mother understood. In first grade we were placed in separate classes. Up to that time I didn't need to be comfortable speaking to people, my sister was always with me. The adjustment of being on my own in school was not an easy, but I needed it to happen. I learned to manage, but confidence in my communication skills were slow to come.

Since spoken words were hard, I realized at a young age how powerful and useful written words could be. Great quotes, touching essays and well written song lyrics intrigued me. In high school I began writing poetry. I wrote about my life and the people in it. I wrote letters too, most of which were never mailed. Even if I was the only one who read them, they were a form of communication for me. I still have a notebook full of these in a box in my basement.  They were my solace, my therapy and as strange as this may sound, my company. I found that writing was an easier way for me to express my thoughts and feelings than having a conversation with someone.

To meet me now, most people would never know that I once had difficulty talking to people. I've worked in fields that require a considerable amount of contact with the public and for some reason conversations in those settings have never been an issue for me.  One-on-one chats, especially with someone I don't know or speaking in front of a small crowd was completely different.  Even though outwardly I appeared calm, inside, my heart would race and at times I would get a little light headed. It sounds a bit crazy, but that was my experience for a long time. Thankfully I have been able to work through those issues. I now accept that apprehension as normal and I truly enjoy conversation.

Over the past few years, I have gone back to the familiar outlet of writing. I have been reminded on a larger scale how impactful words can be through feedback I've received from readers of my blog and articles. In today's climate negative words run rampant, on social media, in the news and sadly even in our homes and schools. Conversations turn to confrontations far too often and we have forgotten how to agree to disagree in a loving way. It is my hope that my words will do the contrary.

I want the mother reading my blog to gain strength and know someone else relates to her situation. For my boys, I want what I say to them to combat the critical  judgment of the outside world. I hope that without a doubt they know they are loved unconditionally regardless of the opinions of others. To my husband I want him to hear that he is appreciated and valued, not for what he does or doesn't, but simply for the man he is. At work, I will strive to turn a family's bad morning into a better day with a smile and kind word. My desire is for my words to be a source of encouragement and positivity in all aspects of my life. This is, of course, easier said that done and will take intentionality on my part, but nonetheless a worthwhile goal to set for today and in the new year.