Identity- Who you are is enough.

Working in a school, the end of the year is a natural time to reset and look forward to what is next. This can be exciting, but as we all know beginnings eventually turn into endings and endings can be difficult.

This May like many before, I watched students leave elementary school, a place where they have been nurtured and known. In the fall they will enter middle school, unsure of what to expect and unfamiliar to the majority of people around them. I also saw many young people graduate from both high school and college with high hopes and great enthusiasm for their futures, even with uncertainty ahead.

But as I prepared to leave school for the summer this year, it was different. Three longtime employees of our district packed their things and walk out the door for the last time. Each of them leaving for different reasons, they either want to, need to, or feel like the time is right. They all have spent decades serving our students in their positions and this will be a huge change for them, especially when August rolls around.

As they came to my desk to turn in their keys and ID badge, I realized that for them these things served more than a practical purpose. They had been part of who they where, their identity, for a large portion of their adult lives.

I think this is true for many of us. We find our identity in different ways.  Most of us if asked, could come up with a list of what we believe makes us who we are. Included most likely would be, what we do, where we live and how we spend our time and money.  We may also add talents or qualities that describe the way we see ourselves or how we are thought of by others.

I recall a conversation I had with my oldest son shortly after he left for college. Although he had gone to a large high school he had found his place there. He was an athlete, an academic and a leader. He was known, well liked and people cared about him. He had an identity. When he got to college he quickly realized that nothing he did or who he was in high school mattered very much. No one knew him so he was starting over.

Most people have been in similar situations, a new school, new home, new job or a number of other scenarios. Change like this provokes a combination of emotions. I found this to be just as true for my son as it was for my coworkers.

We live in a society that at times rewards what we do far more than who we are. Traits like character, kindness and generosity are often overlooked. We often define success based on external things and we feel the need to find our value in what can be easily seen. We think if we build a nice career and healthy bank account we will gain the admiration of those around us and life will be good. That may be true for a time, but I think it is important to think about who we are without any of that.

It has taken me a while, but I have come to believe my true identity can be found, for the most part, in two things. First, how I connect with people, am I a present and intentional parent, a good friend, do I have a strong marriage and do I treat others with love and respect? These things matter and can be accomplished regardless of age, occupation, locale or financial status.  Secondly, my faith in God. I believe that I am here in this place, at this time, with my skill set for a specific purpose. When I focus on both of these, I find it harder to be fooled into thinking I need anything else.

My hope for the students moving on to the next level, the college graduates and my newly retired coworkers, is that they will look at themselves from the inside out. That they would see that who they are apart from anything external is enough and worthy of celebrating.